Phoenix Notes 7
For EFT and other modalities as well no matter what the issue the healing process always goes through 4 key stages, the 4 A`s of Healing. Recognising where you or a client might be in that process at any point in time can help to bring structure and order to a complex system and some reassurance that progress is being made.
1. Acknowledgement: “Even though I have this problem……..”
The first stage is to actually admit that there is a problem, whether it is a physical, emotional or a complex mix of factors. There must be an acknowledgement that somewhere, something is out of alignment in that person’s life.
This can be very hard to do for some people. It is frequently much easier to push the problem down and try to ignore it or divert attention away from it rather than admit that something needs to change. If we ignore or push problems down below the surface they become blockages at an energetic level and they will eventually surface in another form if consistently ignored. The only thing they will not do is go away!
A therapist’s function at this stage is to listen and encourage the acknowledgement with no censure or judgement, simply holding the space for the problem to be stated.
If you cannot acknowledge that you have a problem then you have no chance of healing it!
2. Acceptance: “……I deeply and completely accept myself”
Once the problem has been acknowledged, the next stage is to accept that although the person is not happy with the problem it is actually OK to be where they are right now in terms of spiritual, emotional or physical health.
This is not just a passive acceptance or a giving up on it, but the beginning of an active contemplation of how life could be better. It may also be a peaceful acceptance that even though things are bad right now there may be a purpose to whatever has happened. Sometimes the purpose is simply to show the person that all is not well and that something needs to change.
A therapist`s function here is to help the person to recognise and frame the issue appropriately and to support the Acceptance by identifying and dealing with any resistances which show up at this stage.
Think of the Acceptance as just a starting point –this is where you draw a line in the sand and say “That is enough! Where can I go from here?”
3. Awareness:
This next stage involves developing awareness of what lies at the root of the problem which means taking a good, hard look at everything in that person’s life and working out how and why the present situation has developed.
This is where a therapist can use gentle, open questions to begin exploration of the issue(s), begin to work with the more accessible levels and then gradually work towards the core events and their consequences. Usually, somewhere in this stage, cognitive shifts begin for the client – they begin to see how they got to where they currently are.
The answers always lie within and every person always has all of the resources already within or accessible to them to begin their own healing process. A therapist`s function at this stage is to ask the questions to help the awareness to open up and for the inner resource states to be identified.
Remember that just as the problem was created from within so is the solution.
We are all In-cure-able!
4. Action:
The final stage is for the person to begin to take action on what has been learned – to work out what changes need to be made and implement them. The changes can be anything from huge or minor life-style changes to inner conflict resolution, releasing traumas and then reaching a state of forgiveness.
At this stage a therapist`s function is not to offer advice and ready-made solutions from their own experience or perspective but to ask the questions that lead the client to their own solutions. If they cannot own the solution they will not implement it! This is where EFT can act as a coaching tool.
All self-healing is about change.
If nothing changes then nothing changes!
Quite often this is the hardest stage of all.
Most people are open to working out how they reached their current position but the changes needed to step out of that “Un-comfort Zone” and into another, better one can seem daunting. At this stage the reasons for staying put may outweigh the reasons to change and the work focuses on identifying those reasons, finding what is underpinning them and resolving them.
It may take a while, but sooner or later, with careful work a choice will be made – to either stay put for a while longer, but now with more awareness, or to make the critical change needed. 100% commitment is needed to bring the power of intent into action to create a new reality. If there are still doubts then the choice has not yet, in truth, been made and more time is needed.
That critical change can be scary; it can be exhilarating; it can be emotionally hard; it can be physically difficult, but once committed to, 100%, it will happen.
It is a wonderful thing to witness a client, now empowered, take steps into a new and better future and begin to explore the possibilities of their new Comfort Zone.
En-joy!
Phoenix Notes 3:
It has been estimated that many people spend as much as 65% of their time in the past and as much as 20% in the future leaving just 15% of attention and energy for the Now.
If we use some of these techniques mentioned above we have the chance to let go of those emotional anchors that are still linking us to the past and then we can begin to create our future from a fresher, cleaner state of mind. How would our futures be if we could imagine and intend them into being from a happy and loving perspective instead of from an anxious, guilt or fear-filled one?
All forms of unresolved trauma and stress tend to accumulate in the body-mind system of both parent and child as disruptions to normal energy flow patterns.
1. What are you feeling? Identify a problem: e.g. “I am worried I won`t be a good parent”
Bio. Christine Sutton